We all have tiny secrets that are better off staying that way. I, as a mother of three, have plenty. They are all harmless and it wouldn’t matter if anyone found out, but it would also just be easier if no one did. One of my harmless secrets for example, is that two years ago when I started bringing my children into the office, I had commercial interior glass tinting done on the room that they’d be spending most of their time in. It was easy to do because I’m the owner of the business and the office. I did it because I didn’t want my employees to see how unruly my kids can be. I have to keep up[…]

Welcome back to the account of my journeying through Ringwood, the town with the friendliest people in Australia. Let’s move onto Thursday. What will I get up to next? Thursday: As I previously mentioned, I wanted to check out the swimming pool, which turned out to be really great. I took the children of the Trish family, who had a fun time. Then I returned to the local shopping centre, where I bought lots of things at a great price. Since I am pretending to be homeless, however, I had to put all the stuff I bought in my car. I can’t see that becoming a problem at all, though. Friday: Well, I got kicked out of the Trish home.[…]

This weekend we had my mother-in-law staying with us because she was having her kitchen renovated. I didn’t like to point out that she did have two other fully functioning kitchens at her house. Denise stayed with us on Friday and Saturday night, mainly as a precaution should her entire plumbing system go down, an extremely unlikely outcome of a simple kitchen renovation. Melbourne summers have not been kind to her skin, and as her years have advanced, Denise has taken to making adjustments to her already very lovely house. Last weekend she had the painters in to fix up the top coat around the door frames, the difference is wholly unnoticeable. Every now and again her penchant for renovations[…]

It’s really frustrating when people question your knowledge of things. My daughter’s car was broken the other day. I came around to fix it but she started saying all this crazy stuff like “You’re not a professionally trained mechanic” and “I need to get a log book service to keep the car’s resale value high”. Like, what are you talking about, woman? I’ve been servicing her car for her for years, ever since I returned from the moon, and never heard a word of complaint about it. When I mentioned this to her, she said that she does complain about it, but I delete her voicemails every time. I’ve never heard anything so preposterous! I tell you, we couldn’t afford[…]

Do you know what my favourite thing about space was? Not having glass break. With low gravity, if you dropped a window it would just slowly float toward the ground and land there safely. On Earth, you get no such mercy. Drop a window and it smashes into a million tiny pieces which will take you an hour to clean up. It’s infuriating. I’ve wasted so much money on glass objects that were destroyed by the gravitational pull of our planet. Maybe I’m just clumsy, sure, but I’m certain I wouldn’t be in this situation if I still lived on the moon. Damn you, BASA, for recalling me from my space mission! Now I’ve got to find a business for[…]

I had to take my car to the auto shop yesterday, but given the current world circumstances, I wasn’t able to go see a movie or anything, as I usually would while waiting for a car service to be done. So I spent most of the time sitting in the workshop, waiting, just dawdling around on my phone. Eventually, I got so bored that I decided to watch something on Not Flicks, that streaming service everyone is using these days. Since I don’t have any shows I’m watching at the moment (well, I didn’t at the time, anyway), I just put on the first thing it happened to recommend. So while I was waiting for my log book service at[…]

Driving to the beach, driving to the beach… that’s the driving to the beach song! I get so excited about driving to the beach, I can’t help bursting into song, and who can blame me? It’s not even about being at the beach – that’s nice and all, but it’s nothing compared to driving to the beach. Winding roads, panoramic views of sparkling sea, the thrill of hurtling along the edge of a coastal cliff, cute scruffy dogs sticking their heads out of car windows: driving to the beach has all this to offer, and then some. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m big into lengthy drives in scenic locations, with no distractions aside from the dulcet tones of a[…]

I’m not too sure about some of these old-time folks, particularly the ones from around the turn of the century, by which I mean the late 1800s. They’re close enough to modernity to have an inkling of what’s in store, but far enough away that they can’t see the potential pitfalls of the impending technological boom.  That’s why we started going back in time in the first place – to warn them of what would come to pass without the benefit of hindsight. We would effectively be delivering that benefit to them. Are they willing to listen? Yes and no. They’ll pay rapt attention to descriptions of life in the 21st century, particularly anything to do with cars: building cars,[…]

Just when you think you know something, new information comes to light that turns it on its head. Nowhere is this more true than in life’s most mundane arenas. I guess this is because it’s easier to get stuck in our ways there, or maybe it’s a matter of going on autopilot.  Let me give you an example. I always thought that setting up an office space required a huge amount of strategic thought, mapping out of workflows, weighing up technological factors and endless other nonsense. That’s what I was led to believe by, well… experience and common sense, those two trusty sidekicks I never thought would let me down. Then, up rocks this new office manager, Ted-Jason. First of[…]

I often find myself thinking about the day we almost changed the course of history. It was 1984, the third year of our Lunar Power mission. We’d spent the last few weeks setting up our solar panels, ready for harvesting that incredible energy from the suns. We built a giant ring of these panels around the moon, meaning that we were always getting energy. A lot of it came from the stars on the dark side of the moon. With a few more months of work, we’d be ready to send the energy back to Earth. It would change the world forever. But everything changed when the aliens attacked. I remember it clearly. I was connecting our commercial solar power[…]