I might not actually LIKE Perth, but there’s a very good reason I want to be buried there. See, on the space mission we faced many dangers. Pieces of debris just floating around from previous missions were on such example. Equipment malfunction while out space-walking was another. The list goes on, but obviously, space is not a place designed for man to thrive, not without piles of equipment to keep them breathing. I had to make sure my will was up to date before I left, everyone knew what to do with my estate, all of that complicated jargon. Not that many people die in space nowadays, but it’s still more hazardous than a trip to the milk bar.

Now, I did my research into Perth funeral services, because I was determined that, if something should happen to me, that’s where I’d be put to rest. I’d been to Perth once before, very briefly on a family tour, and I wasn’t fond of the place. The weather wasn’t great at the time, I never got on with my siblings growing up and we’d travelled all across Australia by that time, meaning that I was sick, tired and ready to go home already. I couldn’t stand the thought of any more travel cooped in in the van, so it wasn’t like I walked away from Perth with the firm thought that one day I’d have my funeral service there. I didn’t pick out a burial site; in fact, I never had any interest in going back. But one day I was rooting through my family history, and I discovered that our family originally arrived in Perth after coming from Northern Ireland. Nothing special, because so many did, but I did some more digging. Turns out that my ancestor was a fireman, and he saved the local church from a wildfire in the dreaded summer of 1892. After that, they promised that all of our family would be welcome in their church, or churchyard. After that, my Grandfather (who I never met) died while saving Perth’s very first kitten farm from annihilation during the dingo invasion of 1969.

I’m proud to come from a line of heroes. I hope to one day have my funeral in the suburbs of Perth, where men are men and our family truly found its feet in this land. It’s a family tradition, basically. But only for the really good ones.