I might not actually LIKE Perth, but there’s a very good reason I want to be buried there. See, on the space mission we faced many dangers. Pieces of debris just floating around from previous missions were on such example. Equipment malfunction while out space-walking was another. The list goes on, but obviously, space is not a place designed for man to thrive, not without piles of equipment to keep them breathing. I had to make sure my will was up to date before I left, everyone knew what to do with my estate, all of that complicated jargon. Not that many people die in space nowadays, but it’s still more hazardous than a trip to the milk bar. Now,[…]

They gave us a lab rat while we were up there. I knew it was a bad idea from the start. Actually, I was anxious about looking after it and the possibility of it escaping from its little cage. Little did I realise that the problems would be far more complex than that. You see, my fellow astronaut, Boris, and I, we got fond of old Ratsie. We bestowed upon him the affectionate epithet “The Great Ratsby”. While our command officers were instructing us to complete our in-space experiments on him, we could no longer bring ourselves to… Meanwhile, my wife’s great aunt had passed and she was dealing with a funeral director in Perth. She would describe the funeral[…]