Melbourne funtion roomsI remember one time, back in space (that’s where I used to live), we celebrated a lunar eclipse. Truth be told, we couldn’t actually see anything because our vantage point wasn’t great, but we knew from the calendar that there was going to be a lunar eclipse so we celebrated accordingly. Well, I say ‘celebrated’…all we had was some orange flavour fizzy drink that had long since lost its fizz, but it was better than recycled water. It still felt special, because it was something we didn’t usually do.

Here on Earth…well, there are so many things to do, just in Melbourne. Business who need private function rooms really know what they’re taking for granted? All of them are so…there. All the time, and I bet even if you forgot to do anything nice for a big event, you could get a place in an hour or so. Maybe just with a phone call, or a few phone calls to a few places, and all you’d have to do is put on your most pathetic voice. They’d give it to you in a heartbeat. And then you’d arrive to find it just stocked to the gills with orange flavour fizzy drink, and it’d all be in date and extremely fizzy because the people running the event function place probably went and got it from the supermarket that very morning.

See what affluence these people live in? And they don’t even know what they have, day after day just living in such incredible…incredibleness. I don’t begrudge them their access to party rooms and many, many flavours of fizzy drink, many of which I would avoid purely due to its general penchant for rotting the teeth and lowering general health. Of course, celebration is wonderful and healthy. But I do think we just did it a lot better in space. It’s a tough argument to counter really, because that’s where you can really look down on the world, even at Melbourne with its birthday party venues and fizzy drinks…and get some proper perspective. If not from there, where else?