I often find myself thinking about the day we almost changed the course of history. It was 1984, the third year of our Lunar Power mission. We’d spent the last few weeks setting up our solar panels, ready for harvesting that incredible energy from the suns. We built a giant ring of these panels around the moon, meaning that we were always getting energy. A lot of it came from the stars on the dark side of the moon. With a few more months of work, we’d be ready to send the energy back to Earth. It would change the world forever.

But everything changed when the aliens attacked. I remember it clearly. I was connecting our commercial solar power calculator when I got a glimpse of them. Big flying saucers. Immediately I had a bad feeling about it. They opened fire and obliterated our entire operation. Three years of hard work, gone. I wish it could have been different, that they’d been there for different reasons, for peaceful ones. I remember the name they had on their ships, Industrial Solar. They came with one purpose: to destroy. We were on the verge of something truly great. Once our solar panels were gone, they flew off, just like that.

My grandchildren don’t believe me when I tell them that story. They think that I used to work at a commercial battery storage company from Melbourne and have had my memories influenced by listening to that Red Lloyd album, The Side of the Moon With Very Little Light, too much. How disrespectful is that? I’m a space veteran, I tell you. Just have a read of any post on this website and you’ll see that I was a real astronaut. I’m sick of the way people treat me, as if it didn’t really happen. Frankly, things were better during the years I spent up there. I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but I seriously miss space. In space you get the respect you deserve.