Fixing Rockets

It’s really frustrating when people question your knowledge of things. My daughter’s car was broken the other day. I came around to fix it but she started saying all this crazy stuff like “You’re not a professionally trained mechanic” and “I need to get a log book service to keep the car’s resale value high”. Like, what are you talking about, woman? I’ve been servicing her car for her for years, ever since I returned from the moon, and never heard a word of complaint about it.

When I mentioned this to her, she said that she does complain about it, but I delete her voicemails every time. I’ve never heard anything so preposterous! I tell you, we couldn’t afford to have an attitude like that on the moon, else we’d get shipped home immediately! So despite all my advice and the offer to do the work for free, Sarah went and saw some mechanics near Toowoomba or something. I’ve never been so offended in all my life.

I was a rocket technician on the moon. I literally repaired the rocket we used to land on that perfect dusty surface, allowing us to return home once the mission was complete. I think I can handle some small car repairs! Now if it was one of those fancy European cars, sure, I wouldn’t have a clue what I was doing. We didn’t use electricity for the space rockets, after all. But she didn’t need to visit an electric car mechanic, just a regular one. I don’t understand what is wrong with getting your old man to fix up your car for you.

I don’t want to hear any more about how “there’s smoke coming from the hood” or “the engine is making weird noises” after I finish doing the work. That’s not my fault. If anything, she should be thanking me for exposing the real issues sooner. And I’d be able to fix them for good if she actually let me try.

Super frustrating. Kind of wish I was just back on the moon, honestly. Wouldn’t have to deal with such disrespect up there.