People have some serious misconceptions about astronauts. They think that we eat pills for breakfast and that we spend our time floating around in a capsule. While it’s true that we eat carefully packaged and highly condensed foods, and we’re in superb physical shape which allows us to adapt to the lack of gravity conditions, it’s far from the cliche. Another misconception is that astronauts care not for their physical appearance. I guess Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong probably gave the world that impression. But it’s not true. Some of us are quite into pruning and manscaping, and take pride in our looks. Since my daughter has been doing her makeup courses in Brisbane, I’ve learnt a lot about how a bit of self-love can make a positive impact on one’s life.
I’ve learnt that there’s a direct correlation between your outward appearance and your self esteem. That’s why I take extra special care, with my daughter’s instructions and guidance, to keep myself in tip top shape every time I go into space. I make sure to trim my chest hair so it’s a neat and tidy patch of fur and I eradicate the hairs sticking out of my nose and ears. My daughter showed me how to do my morning routine: cleanse, exfoliate, tone and moisturise. My skin has never looked better. Even though I’m middle aged now, I’m positively glowing for the cabinet camera. It’s amazing what you can learn from beauty therapy courses like the one Lisa is taking.
I know it’s going to sound vain but I get her to help me with more permanent physical modifications. She tinted my eyelashes, which had turned gray, to a medium brown colour. She also dyed my hair, which took about a decade off my age, and left a little bit of gray on the side to give me a distinguished and intellectual appearance.